


Metanoia (1/2)

by kissed



Category: Jin Akanishi, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 21:42:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1873530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissed/pseuds/kissed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin learns that he can't contain a normal boy's wild heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metanoia (1/2)

**Author's Note:**

> the title came basically means "a transformative change of heart, i discovered the word from the tumblr [other-wordly](http://other-wordly.tumblr.com). and i found that as an inspiration to write this fic. i hope you liked it so far, hopefully i can finish the second part by monday :) thanks for reading!

**metanoia**  
akanishi jin/kamenashi kazuya

 

 

 

Jin, I'm in Italy.

It's beautiful. You'll like it here, the food is good, and the people will kiss both of your cheeks when you greet them. They’re also gorgeous and they speak in a language that none of us will understand. Unless you speak Italian now, I don't know anything about you anymore and I don't even know if you receive my letters but Jin, I hope you can still speak Japanese. At least I know we still have something in common.  
At least something.

Kame

-

"Everyone can I have your attention please," Jin's boss rose a little to get their undivided attention. It's a little over 9 in the morning and his stomach was grumbling, he didn't even have time to shower properly let alone have breakfast, damn that Yamashita for tricking him into one of those drinks again.

Jin raises his head lazily; he's got a headache and a bad case of the cow's lick hair though he gives at least 40% of his effort to pay attention to his boss. Beside him, where Anika is blushing and chuckling with Mami, two of his office mates are ogling in the direction of their boss. Jin thinks it's hilarious; their boss is pushing sixty and their giggling for him. Girls can be pathetic.

"Everyone, we have a new office mate. He's going to take Riku's place," Jin hears Anika's hushed whispers of glee and he continues to laugh inside despite his headache and then he looks up to see the new employee that's going to sit across from him. Jin's boss is spewing unnecessary words of encouragement, maybe it's because of his age, and he's beginning to yawn again but he gets a glimpse of his new cubicle mate when his boss moves a little to the side for more effect.

Jin could barely hear the gasps and silent squeals of Anika and Mami because he is unconsciously giving the new employee his undivided attention that his boss was asking for earlier.

"Hello, my name is Kamenashi Kazuya. I'll work hard, please be patient with me," Jin doesn't even know he's staring, doesn't even know that the meet and greet is already over because Anika is patting his shoulder to get his attention and he jolts a little and then gathers himself to raise an eyebrow at her, a yawn coming.

"Yes?" Jin sees his boss beside Anika with Kamenashi on the other, he gulps a little and attempts to fix his bad hair but he fails miserably and lets it go.

"Akanishi-san, if you weren't listening earlier like I assume, this is Kamenashi Kazuya and he will be replacing Riku. Please show him the ropes," Jin smirks at his boss and chuckles a little and nods, his boss smiles at him that reaches his eyes and lets Kamenashi go.

"This is Akanishi-san, he will show you around. I trust you won't be a lazy ass like Jin," his boss says but there's no bite to it and he leaves Jin with a happy wink. Anika stays where she is and is mouthing to Jin that they should do personal introductions since their cubicle mates and Jin rolls his eyes at her nods.

"Kamenashi, right?" Jin asks with authority and seniority because Kamenashi looks intimidating and he will not be intimidated by some new employee. No matter how hot he might be. Kamenashi nods, Jin repeats his action.

"Kamenashi-san, You can call me Jin and if you have any questions please direct them to Anika," Jin points Anika using his lips and sits back down to his booth and drinks his water looking uninterested. He's nursing his head again, it's starting to burn and he can hear Anika's voice, it's different when he's talking to Kamenashi.

Jin doesn't care though; all he cares about is how he'll be able to be friends with Kamenashi. It might be a little bit of a challenge because Kamenashi is different and Jin is different so maybe, Jin can't just be friends with Kamenashi.

He gets up and takes his water bottle with him. He leaves Kamenashi hostage in Anika's ogling.

-

Jin,

My toothbrush is missing.

I think I left it in your house when I started to move my things without your permission. Sapporo is cold as fuck. I didn't bring enough clothes with me and I'm broke so I can't buy things but the view damn well makes up for it. You should see this; you'd be perfect here, maybe with me? Maybe with someone else, I don't know Akanishi.

I don't know you anymore. It's okay, I understand you. I've always did had enough patience when it comes to you.

Kame

-

Jin leaves early on Kamenashi's first day.

He wants his bed, his warm sheets and a beer to ease the stressful day he had. He's went over a tall stack of papers given by none other than his boss and the annoying calls of Yamashita taunting him and asking him if he's ready for another round and promising him that there were no more secret ingredients.

And Kamenashi clouding his thoughts.

Jin throws himself to the bed once he'd finished cleaning himself up. Not bothering to get dinner or putting on the air conditioner and he knows he's going to regret it tomorrow but fuck it, he's tired and he wants to keep thinking about Kamenashi.

"Ugh," he groans, he doesn't need this right now.

-

Jin,

I miss you.

I found a dog. I named him Jelly.

It's got furry brown hair and it's so cute I just couldn't leave him out in the open. I looked for an owner of course! I didn't steal Jelly. I even yelled and asked around if they were missing a dog and I found none. Does that make him mine, Jin?

I found him. Does that make him mine? Is that how I made you mine?

Kame

-

Kamenashi is standing over the copy machine. He's got a stack of papers sitting on the plastic chair beside him and he's mouthing lyrics of a song Jin wishes he could hear.

He walks over with his papers. He's got a reason; Miyaki-san had asked him to do this. He did not volunteer; he would do no such thing. Anika volunteered him though while she smirked herself silly.

Jin wants to laugh at his own pathetic behavior as he makes his way over to the other copy machine. Just beside Kamenashi's machine.

"Hey, Akanishi-san," Kamenashi is smiling at him. He's wearing a cross pendant that Jin wants to touch and maybe he wants to touch Kamenashi's cheeks too, his nose and his lips. Maybe. He's not too sure.

"Jin. Just call me Jin," Kamenashi nods and smiles.

"Jin," he says.

It's the first time Kamenashi calls Jin by his first name. He thinks it's perfect for Kamenashi's tongue, slips through like butter on a hot pan and he's shivering inside.

His three page photocopy job gets done after forty minutes because Kamenashi's stack is just too thick.

Jin helps him finish.

-

Jin,

Hey.

_Aka-nee-sheeeee._

I'm trying to say your name in English. The people here in California are tanned and always wearing clothes two sizes smaller because it's always hanging and fit in their bodies. I don't get why, maybe it's the heat. Maybe.

I suck at English, Jin. I wish I had paid attention in high school.  I remember when you used to call me English pet names. Baby. Love. Sweet heart. I hated them because I thought we didn't share that. I couldn't speak in English when you conversationally can and I thought we were drifting every time you spoke a foreign language.

Am I shallow Jin? Do you hate my shallowness? Do you hate me?

P.S

I found my toothbrush. Now I have two toothbrushes now, I named the one I lost, Jin.

Kame

-

"Jin, break?" Kamenashi or Kame. _Just call me Kame because I'm slow like a turtle._

Jin scrambles in his seat and he looks up at Kame's face that’s expressed in a funny frown and Jin pouts, Kame seems to get the message.

"I'm buried in work, you go ahead," Jin mumbles, papers strewn all over his desk and dirty as compared to Kame's organized and neat desk that's just directly across from him. Kame rolls his seat next to Jin and picks up his cell phone, punching numbers.

"Is chicken okay?" Kamenashi asks with an inquiring voice and Jin nods, he's feeling all fuzzy inside. It's just them in the office now and by no means they're in love but Jin feels like he's falling. Little by little.

Kame places his phone back to his desk and starts to organize Jin's papers and office supplies. Their fingers brush a little when Jin reaches for the stapler the same time Kame does and they giggle like school girls. The office is awfully quiet and dark but Kamenashi's smile lights up the space where Jin needs seeing.

They spend their lunch break at Jin's desk. Eating Chicken take out with chopsticks and sipping carbonated drinks that will ruin Jin's stomach but that’s fine.

Jin thinks he's more than fine.

-

Jin,

I met a girl today. Her name is Clarisse.

She's five and she's got blue eyes and curls that travel down her short back. She was running towards me because she was lost and she thought I was her father. We were in a lingerie section, I was the only guy around and she immediately assumed that I was his father. She was Caucasian and I don’t look anything remotely close to Caucasian, right? I found her adorable but it also felt different Jin. To be held by someone, I suddenly missed you because she reminded me of how clingy you would be when you wanted to be.

She was crying and fat tears where running down her cheeks. I remembered you too and then I thought I never wanted to see a little girl cry again because it will remind me of you.

Don't cry. Even when we're apart, please don't cry.

Kame

-

Ryo doesn't get the hint that Jin's dropping him subtly when he crashes his and Kame's coffee date on a Saturday night. Jin wants to whack Ryo out of the cafe but he'll look bad and Kame seems to be okay with Ryo's sharp tongue and sarcasm and then suddenly it's okay because Kame is laughing and clamping his hands at Ryo's hard-to-get jokes and then Jin is too and Ryo is ordering another coffee while Kamenashi excuses himself to the rest room.

Ryo stares at Jin who is following Kame who is walking towards the rest room until he gets out of his sight. Ryo chuckles loudly and gets Jin's attention.

"Akanishi, you've got it hard," Ryo says. His coffee comes; it's frothy and creamy like he loves it and Jin wants to shove it to his face. Maybe drown him out with all that foam.

"Got what?" he feigns ignorance. Ryo sees right through him and before his friend could make another comment, Kame is pulling his chair next to Jin and is sitting down and asking what did he miss.

They laugh and drink coffee until the cafe chases them out.

Jin thinks it's not bad for a first date.

-

Kame slips a small piece of paper in Jin's desk like they're in school and the teacher would get mad if they'd get caught. Jin unfolds it with a smile and in the corner of his eye he spots Anika rolling her eyes. She’s just jealous.

**It's been three days since our first date. I was getting worried but then I realized you didn't have my number and it's not weird right? Me giving it to you? but what the hell. 982-4219***

Jin is staring at Kame's back that's too busy working on reports and he can feel himself blushing. He whips out his phone and punches Kame's number in and types.

**I didn't want to look so eager and I already have your number.. Anika gave it to me : &**

Kame reads the text and Jin can see him smile and then his phone beeps.

**I already know you're eager, stalker. : >**

_Beep._

**After work. You, me and Cup noodles in my couch. We can be a threesome. Anika gave it to me! :(**

_Beep._

**It only makes you _both_ stalkers. I don't know she got it and I feel that you're somehow connected to this stalkery but you're my favorite and I always side with my favorite. Get back to work you, Kinky stalker. :" >**

A smile doesn't leave Jin's lips as he continues to finish his July report due 5 pm. It's already 3.

-

 _You don't need me, no._  
Like I need you.  
I can't steal you, no.  
LIke you stole me.  
\- **You** , The Pretty Reckless.

-

"Jin," Kame says between their lips that were glued together and their hands everywhere on hot skin. Jin has his eyes barely open and he breathes out, Kame inhales it and Jin lists it as the sexy things Kamenashi Kazuya does.

"No no no no," Jin moans because he doesn't want Kame to stop kissing him. He reaches for Kame's hands places it across his chest and presses it, Kame laughs and Jin can taste it and it's beautiful.

"This is yours," Jin says. Kame smiles lovingly for a while before pecking Jin's lips carefully and looking back at him again, intertwining their fingers together.

"I found this, it's mine. You're mine," Kame mumbles and begins to kiss Jin with so much passion Jin thinks he can die happy.

Right here, right now.

-

Jin,

I’m scared.

The lamplight is blinking by itself.

Kame

-

“Hey, hey! No office sex when I’m around!” Mami says, she a little tipsy. Her top a strewn up in the wrong places and Kame wants to whisper that into her ears and pull her top down but in a few minutes she’ll be out so it won’t be of any use.

“We aren’t even touching,” Kame says instead and gets out of the conversation to get drinks.

“We aren’t even in the office,” Jin follows up, Mami crosses her eyes and tips over a little. Jin saving her just in time and before he could move her to a more stable position, Jin is caught with a hard jab in his jaw making him fall over to the laminated wooden floor.

“ _What the fuck_ ,” Jin mumbles and raises his head up to see where it came from. It’s from a tall, beefy guy who’s carrying Mami by the shoulders, all dead and out like Kame thought she would be.

“Touch her again and you’ll get more than that,” he threats. Kame comes in when beefy guy is standing so close to Jin their noses are almost touching. Jin was about to speak when Kame comes in between the two, separating them.

Then he takes a quick painful jab to beefy guy’s jaw.

“Touch him again and you’ll get more than that,” Kame raises a bitch brow and drags Jin out of the room and when they get out of the stuffy and noisy room, Kame immediately traces the wounded jaw. It’s turning a little blue and it will get uglier tomorrow.

“How bad is it?” Jin asks and jerks because it stings.

“Sorry, it’s so fugly you’ll have to wear a scarf tomorrow to hide it. Goodluck though, I heard it’s 35 degress tomorrow,” Kame kisses his jaw and Jin relaxes to the touch and grabs hold of Kame’s waist.

“I might have to hide something else than the bruise if you keep going,” and Kame laughs.

-

Jin,

Jin. Jin. Jin.

Akanishi Jin.

Bakanishi.

JinJin.

Jinnifer.

Jin.

I miss saying your name.

Do you miss saying mine?

Kame Kame Kame Kamenashi

-

Kame gives Jin a concealer stick one random day.

It’s all wrapped up in white coupon bond paper and heavily taped. Jin eyes the gift with a small post it stuck to it with Kame’s loopy  
kanji.

**This is much more comfortable than a scarf~**

Jin googles about the cosmetic product he’s holding when he comes home and he finds out that it can conceal marks.

Yeah. Jin has marks.

Kamenashi is the one to blame for them.

And he’s ditching that goddamn awful itchy scarf he’s forced to wear.

-

“I heard Kamenashi-kun was going to move, is that true Jin?” Haruna asks with her little hands holding the top of his booth, the one dividing them. Jin shakes his head and laughs confidently because this is ridiculous. Kame isn’t leaving and he’s staying with Jin.  
He loves Jin and Jin loves him back though they didn’t establish anything but they were never sappy about words anyway, they’d rather show it then tell it but right now Jin sometimes wishes that Kame would actually tell him how he feels.

“Kame isn’t leaving,” Jin says, reassures Haruna that Kame is staying where he is. Kame is absent today because his mother is visiting, he left Jin’s apartment earlier than he expected and had even kissed him lovingly before leaving and promising him that he’ll cook dinner later.

Haruna smiles at the confirmation that their bubbly Kamenashi-kun isn’t going anywhere and floats somewhere else.

Kame keeps his promise.

They eat delicious food that Kame had promised he’d make, they watched low budget cable animes and make love. Jin always kisses Kame like it’s the last time, he’s clingy like that.

He can’t actually hide whatever he’s feeling. It’s not like it’s a nice trait and it’s not wrong either but Jin sometime thinks it’s his disadvantage, people think he’s too serious and too fast to commit.

And is that wrong? He commits to that person he chose because he sees forever in them and if the other party doesn’t have the same beliefs as Jin then what’s the point of keeping the relationship?

Kame kisses Jin carefully, gently like Jin’s a girl.

All soft lips and when he’s nibbling, he pulls his lips over his teeth and pats every exposed skin with it. Jin moans and loves the feeling, Kamenashi aims to satisfy.

But when Jin wakes in the morning, he’s left with a cold spot next to his bed.

Kame doesn’t come to work again.

Kame doesn’t come home to his apartment that night.

Jin couldn’t contact Kame.

Haruna was right because Kame was gone.

 

 

\--

__ I'm being controlled, till my fingertips  
Enraptured, to the point I'm going crazy  
I'm starting to be damaged in my head  
_Me, now, why am I here? Where am I?_

-[1582](http://harukana-kizuna.livejournal.com/24701.html), Kamenashi Kazuya

 

 

 

 

 

 

author's notes: the title came basically means "a transformative change of heart, i discovered the word from the tumblr [other-wordly](http://other-wordly.tumblr.com). and i found that as an inspiration to write this fic. i hope you liked it so far, hopefully i can finish the second part by monday :) thanks for reading!

 


End file.
